I e-mailed some of my teachers about my fear of failing my tests again. I emailed my french, physics and science teacher and I just really really hope they can help me. ‘Cause I feel almost everyday so sad about how stupid I feel. I don’t feel like I belong at school, I don’t feel like I am that smart. I don’t feel smart at all. I want to though. Also I emailed my supervisor (idk what its called in english) about my fear for my final exams this year. In my email I told her about my fear of failing my final exams. I hope she understands what I’m feeling like and can help me in someway. ‘Cause I want to feel confident about this year, I want to start a test and feel confident about it. I don’t think I ever felt like that in years. I just want to be more confident when it comes to school. I feel so stupid. I feel so needless. I don’t want to feel like this. 

My headache is huge and I can’t focus on my homework anymore, but I know I gotta do this otherwise I will fail my tests again. I don’t want to fail anymore. I am sick of being the failure. For once I want to get a fucking eight on a test. For once I just want to be the ‘smart’ one.